Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Pendulum of time,
Weighed by memories,
From heaven to hell.
And I count....
The moments pass by,
The sandclock races,
To empty it all.
Sands of dream,
Will they hold back,
I count each fleeting second.
Cityclock stuck midnight,
A lunatic traveler
Waits for the last coffee.
And streets will go to bed,
He wont,He has to count...
The cups of coffees gone cold.
As the rain pours down,
I hide in little hut,
By my window I count...
The paperboats lost in drains.
Each day, each moment
A thousand lies,
Prayers never heard
And undying hope...
I count them all.
He hangs around the same river,
Still tosses a pebble,
And looks for the ripples,
Now they die rather quickly.
He has always been a loner,
And the river was a friend,
But rivers have a habbit,
Of moving on and on,
He has been left behind.
He wont take the bridge,
He loves his side of the river,
They call him from there,
And he calls the river.
There is a twist in the way of river,
That lives a twisted trail,
It forms a knot,
He is unable to dissolve.
He stares at the river,
Indifferent mass of water,
That has wickedly changed its color,
No longer transparent.
As the sun kisses the sky,
He wakes up again,
He turns to the river
To see his forgotten face,
But river wears a bloody red today,
And his reflection is lost.
The agony of being forgotten.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
1. Rahul-An 18 year old student.
Rahul is sitting in his gloomy room, after failing his board exams.
He is depressed and sad.
Rahul(to himself): " God! I knew this will happen, but I never really cared and now I stand a perfect loser who can neither move ahead nor run back. Before they all taunt me, and ask the questions I can never answer, I should end this all. No! I dont want to face the world, I can't. It has been enough... I want to die."
He takes a knife and tries to cut his wrists, but he can't gather the guts to do so. He looks frustrated and angry with himself. He takes out some poison and swallows.
Rahul wakes up in a hospital room with the doctor smiling to him.
Doctor: How are you now young man?
Rahul: Oh! Why the hell did you save me? I just want to die, I will do it again. I don't wanna live.
Doctor: Dear, I am sorry but I havent really saved you. The poison has spread in your systems, you only have two more days left with you. Because you attempted suicide, you are not allowed to go anywhere. You have to sit in this room only.
Rahul: Oh! In this depressing room; well, it hardly matters... Life is depressing anyway. But what will I do all the time?
Doctor: Here is a little sketchboard for you, and this pencil... Draw all that you want to... All that you like..
Rahul(irritated): Uff! but there is nothing here to draw... thiese stupid furnitures and colorless walls... do u think i am a three year old and i will do whatever nonesense you tell me to..
Doctor:Listen.. Just close your eyes, dream and then draw what you see...
Rahul draws a tearful eye, birds, flowers, mountains, clouds and sun, friends, a girl, a little house, and a man and a woman.
Doctor walks in.
Doctor: Lets see what all have you painted...
Rahul: When I first closed my eyes, I could see nothing but darkness all around... And I wanted to cry... When I was a child, I could cry everytime I felt hurt, but now... Now, a voice in me just keeps saying" Be a man, dont cry.. Dont let the tears fall!" But can you really hide pain? I sometimes want to lose myself and cry like a child. Yesterday I cried a lot..
Doctor: And then you have drawn, trees, and mountains, flowers and birds..strange!!!
Rahul: I dont like this room; I saw a dream of a perfect day... And I was sitting under a tree in warm sun, mountains all around. And there were flowers, not like this gloomy room... I wanted to be bird and escape through the windows... I guess i need a vacation but now, I am gonna die so doesnt really matters.(he says dreaming)
Doctor(looking at the picture): And who are they? Your friends?Rahul(beaming): How did you guess? My frenz, we really rocked together. Others may call us punks or whatever but we really enjoyed the times we spent together. We have always stood for each other... Do you have friends, doctor?
Doctor: Hmm, but not so many.. and not so good! My friends are busy and I guess they have forgotten me... You are lucky!
Rahul: Yes, I am.
Rahul: Ah, no one.... (blushing) She is my neighbour, I like her but i cud never manage the guts to talk to her... Every time I walk up to her, I just feel this sweet vacuum inside and I am left dumb.. You cant understand this, no one does.. But I hope she understands some day...
Doctor: This is your home, isnt it? And...
Rahul(sad again): And they are my parents.. They wanted me to be good and successful, but see.. I am such a rotten egg. I wish I could meet them once, but I dont have the time... I cant even call my them... What will I say? I am good for nothing, but atleast I could have loved them for the rest of their life... I could have held their hands when they grow old... Suddenly, I dont want to die... I want to live... For all these people and for me... But nothing can happen...
Doctor(smiling again): Well, youngman! you can surely live... you are not gonna die;
You once closed your eyes and dreamed; now you have to open your eyes and live your dreams.. It' your live, follow all your dreams...