Wont Kiss Your Lips Tonight.

Beauty, perfect!
I name it, "You".

Sitting with your eyes closed,
Poised to be loved,
Like a little child.
On this wooden bench,
In this gulmohar grove.
Divine, between ordinary.

I wont kiss your lips tonight,
Not so soon,
Not before I play for a while.

Kissing your forehead,
Is my destiny written there?
It must be wonderful then,
I should care not
For tomorrows stacked up.
Let me play tonight!

I kiss your eyelashes,
To know the crimson dreams,
That lie within.
Your eyes still closed,
Lips anticipating,
Trembling;
I love them.

I wont kiss your lips tonight,
Not so soon,
Not before I play for a while.

Naughty,I confess I am.
Heartless,
Oh! don't call me that.

Now, I can feel your every breath,
Still a whisker apart,
I love it when you give up.
Your eyes open slowly,
Beads of tears,
Kissed away with care.
Complaints piercing in my eyes.
My little child.

No, not yet!
Not until you surrender
In my arms, completely.
Not until,
You whisper your wish
In my cheeks.

And then i shall kiss your lips,
But not before I play for a while.

My Last Letter

I can never forget that day, 27th January, 2005. Sitting on that bench outside the hospital room, I could helplessly see you fighting between life and death. But what really broke my heart was the fact that you were fighting for death. An attempt to commit suicide at the age of 16! It was scary for me. I sat there, shocked, with not a single word to offer... You had lost your mother, a pain only you could understand, perhaps you had every right to say goodbye to this life which has been so brutal to you.
We were just friends then, classmates, but secretly I always liked you. The first spring of my teenage, the first honey drenched dream of my life! I always thought of you as an angel I could only dream of.

Through your illness we grew closer. You objected my staying with you for long hours in that hospital room, but I refused to leave you alone. Lectures and notes became our excuses of staying together. We had no romantic beginning to our love. When I first held your hand, it was feeble and pale, when we first looked into each other's eyes, your eyes were shattered and frozen.

Your room was always gloomy, and I hated the darkness reflecting on your face; I remember opening that window when you first shouted at me, when I first made you cry. The harsh sunlight flushed your eyes, too hard for you; I had opened the wrong window. I understood that day that to take care of you I had to grow up, soon.

I learned to stay quiet, to listen to you, to just sit beside you, to let you feel your pain. It was the only way you could come out of it.
Things changed, slowly you were coming back to life.... My diary has got every detail, of not only our first kiss, but also our first trivial talks and pjs, your first smile and giggles.
It was dream coming true for me, you said you were in love with me. We made promises of staying together forever. Ah, that was a life I would miss for an entire lifetime!

Slowly, you have grown out of me. You have rediscovered yourself, and I have become just a reminder of your depressing days. I can see the change in you. When you date those spoiled punks, I am left with no right to even complain. You call it my "possessiveness"; but ain't I supposed to feel protective for you.

Perhaps, you want me to leave you, so I quit today. I once held the paintbrush to paint a perfect life for you, but you have decided not to have me in the picture; therefore I am handing over your brush to you. Paint it in your way.

You are happy today and I would have loved to say that I am happy too. But sadly, I am not; I miss the days when you were depressed and lonely and you had no one but me. Ah, it sounds bad, I am sorry.

copyright (c) Ankur Srivastava

Story of a Bud and A Dew

A little bud amid thorns,
Beauty, shy of itself,
Yet urging to be touched.

A crystal dew from honey coated mist,
A suicidal wish brings it down,
To feel the touch of beauty.

The soft dew and the innocent bud,
First love’s purest kiss.
The dew romancing velvet petals,
Its tantalizing touch,
The bud blooms drenched in love.

Beauty in its full spring,
Invite the beast from far east.
The dew looks in awe,
At the Sun storming in,
Will the bud close again,
And grant him a life.

The infidel bud refuses to listen,
Developing into a wicked rose.

Just before its death,
The loving dew had to see,
The lusty sunrays
And the shameless naked rose.

Ah, before the sun could kill him,
His once beloved ashamed him to death.

copyright (c) Ankur

Night

I stood on the cliff
In a cold windy night,
The fierce, hungry night
Glared at me,hit me hard
Ready to tear me apart.
I had nothing to be robbed of,
For i was a hollow filled with dark,
Loathed, alone and friendless
Like the night itself.

We soon became friends
We talked of the glorious moon
And you.
Stars flashed across the sky
As i remembered you.
From one star to another
I tried to draw constellations.
All the outlines resembled you.

Playful, brutal jealous night,
Liked a perfect lover,
Played its witches-craft,
And the stars perished.
Voids were created in the night,
Like my heart itself.

Moments passed in silence,
Night was about to go,
It beckoned me.
My new soulmate, night,
Ultimately leaving me again,
On another marooned cliff.
I decided against it this time.
In the arms of night,
I leaped with joy.

Have you noticed a faint star
Near your window
Last few nights?

Who Stole My Alprax?

Who Stole My Alprax ?
Ah, it was there in the cupboard,
I couldn't have misplaced,
My most prized possession...
Nah, not a drug... my life instead,
My sleep, dream and sense.

Tell me, who stole my alprax?
An "over caring friend"
Or a curious child,
My mom couldn't have done it.
For it has been done silently.

Three days without sleep,
I am hitting keyboards in disdain,
Oh dear, read this little letter
And understand my pain.

The chemist asks for a prescription,
God! How should i tell him,
I know my problem,
And i fear the doc may know that better,
I am afraid of what he might discover.I
n any case, i need my alprax.

Not just pills,
My jewels, my dearest alprax...
Where is my packet of life.
Give it back, whoever you are
Or I am going to give up.
Give up completely,
Because without alprax,
I can't do, can't live.

A Silent Poem !

To fly in the voids of a lonely heart,
I outstretch my arms again,
Only to realize,
I have no wings.

And then there is the moth,
I admire so much...
Arrested in a cobweb,
It continues to flap its wings,
Relentlessly, helpless!

We both have similar fate,
Neither can fly...yet we try.

Like this poem
That ached to say something,
But dies in silence.